August 7th, 2004
|swimmy||07:06 pm - Our first erotic fanfic!|
Ok, folks. I'm a fanfic amateur here, so go easy on me.
LOL PUN! sort of
Be warned. I spent much more time on the accompanying 700K animated gif.
"You know that story you told, about how you could have been king. I thought that was cute."
Ash gave the woman the sexiest look he could muster. Which was pretty damn sexy, considering he's Ash and all.
The lights started to flicker. Though they were inside S-Mart, the wind started blowing. Ash had seen this before. A demon was approaching. An old woman in the back of the store gave him an evil stare.
"I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!"
She charged at him, throwing the hot chick out of the way. Ash punched the ugly beast right in the face. Then he grabbed a shotgun and shot it several times. They all flipped around for a while. It was very hot and sweaty. Eventually Ash remembered something.
"Oh yeah, I'm Bruce motherfucking Campbell!"
With this knowledge, he just activated his xxfuckingawesomefirechinxx and burned the shit out of the demon woman. She didn't like it very much.
After writhing in pain for a while, another creature popped out of the woman's skin. It was a tentacle monster! Immediately several tentacles lunged forward. Ash jumped out of the way, and the tentacles found their way to the beautiful woman, who was lying unconscious on the ground. The monster inserted the tentacles into her every orifice. She came instantly. Ash did too, because it was really hot. In fact, he came all over the tentacle monster. Luckily for Ash, even his sperm are badasses. They immediately started infiltrating the monster's pores and attacking its vital organs. It soon shriveled and died.
Ash helped the now-naked woman up. She got her clothes ripped off by the tentacle monster. Now she was naked. She had a nice butt, and boobers. Ash liked boobers. The woman liked Ash's chin. All women, and men, like Ash's chin, so I didn't really need to tell you that.
"You have a nice chin," she said.
"Thanks," he said.
"Wanna have sex?" she said.
"Sure," he said.
Then he almost kissed her, but he was so hot and horny that flames shot from his chin and burned the girl to death.
"Oops," he said. "Oh well, she's still good," and he went at it anyway.
The crowd cheered.
"Hail to the king, baby."
I can do worse...
Current Mood: horny
Current Music: Some terrible j-pop pokémon remix shit
|Date:||September 16th, 2004 10:46 pm (UTC)|| |